Upcoming Commemorative Stamps

Years ago, the US Postal Service recognized that selling stamps that people would not use to send mail was a great money-maker. Today, the USPS would issue a commemorative stamp picturing Taylor Swift. Millions would be sold and that 55 cents per stamp (or has it gone up again?) would be pure USPS profit.

The only restriction was that the person pictured on the stamp had to be dead to avoid nasty lawsuits from his/her estate. Michael Jackson was barely cold in the ground when the Postal Service put him on a popular stamp.

To build interest in an Elvis commemorative, the USPS sold two stamps picturing The King. The stamp with the greatest sales would be the permanent Elvis commemorative. Stamp 1 pictured slender “Hound Dog Era” Elvis with his snarl and black leather jacket. Stamp 2 had bloated “Las Vegas Era” Elvis with his unique hairpiece and glittery jump suit. Guess which stamp was America’s favorite?

A well-known bloated narcissist conducted a similar Elvis-related survey last week. Donnie wrote on his Truth Social website, “For so many years people have been saying that Elvis and I look alike” followed by a split image showing half of his face alongside half of the face of “Las Vegas Era” Elvis. Even the most devoted MAGA disciple could not handle the “alternative fact” that a pudgy 78 year old with piggy eyes, a poor “man tan”, and an even more ridiculous hairpiece could compare to “Hound Dog Era” Elvis.

Of course, compliments poured in. “You look better than Elvis, Mr President”, etc.

If, heaven forfend, Donnie is elected president this year, his first day will include resolving the Israel-Hamas and Ukraine wars, plus changing that ridiculous requirement that commemorative stamps picture only dead people to issue the Donnie stamp. But only if he gets a cut of the profits.

By Ed Dufton