The Celestial Dragon and the Giant Tortoise

Originally written on 4/8/24

Ancient Chinese folklore claims that solar eclipses are the result of a Celestial Dragon taking bites of the Sun until it is consumed. Prayers of the populace then cause the Dragon to disgorge the Sun piece by piece.

Ancient Aztec folklore claims that earthquakes are the result of the Giant Tortoise that bears the Earth on its back stumbling. Prayers of the populace then cause the Tortoise to regain its steady footing.

Not-so-ancient folklore from the US House of Representatives claims that earthquakes and eclipses are portents of “the end of the world as we know it.” Last week, our girl Marjorie Taylor Greene tweeted or more properly X-ed, “God is sending strong signs to tell us to repent. Earthquakes and eclipses and many more things to come. I pray that our country listens.”

Will Marge’s prayers stop this afternoon’s eclipse? Will Marge’s prayers ensure that the Sun does, in fact, return to grant humanity warmth and life? If not, are Marge’s Jewish Space Lasers that, according to her, caused the California wildfires, ready to provide some energy to Earth?

Educated 21st century folk scoff at the Celestial Dragon and the Giant Tortoise, but presumably educated 21st century Georgia voters sent Marge to Congress. I pray that they will see the error of their ways.

By Ed Dufton