Suck Up

Important people love having things named after them.

The Kirby family donated Kirby Hall, Kirby House, and the Kirby Fieldhouse to dear old Lafayette. Rumor has it that Fred Kirby would have doubled his donations if the school changed its name to Kirby College. The school’s love of alliteration might have led to its athletic teams being known as the Kirby Kittens. That would strike fear into the heart of opponents.

Still, Lafayette must suck up to even a Don, Jr., Eric, Ivanka, Tiffany, or Barron Kirby. They would surely be admitted to its hallowed halls.

Speaking of sucking up, Rep. Guy Reschenthaler of Pennsylvania, a member of House GOP leadership, submitted H.R. 7845 last week. It would “designate the Washington Dulles International Airport in Virginia as the ‘Donald J. Trump International Airport.’”

Yup, the same GOP-majority House that passed fewer bills than any since the 19th century, the same GOP-majority House that took six months to fund the government at the very last minute found the time to suck up to Donnie. “We named Washington National Airport after Reagan. We named Houston International Airport after Bush. Donnie is more important than either of those guys and deserves his airport, too!”

Will this suck up work? Donnie still hasn’t chosen his VP. South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem gave him a replica of Mt Rushmore with his visage alongside Washington, Lincoln, Jefferson, and Roosevelt. Donnie loved it. Kristi rose to the top of the VP Sweepstakes.

But a chunk of carved rock is not as cool as a major international airport. Will we see a Vice President Reschenthaler in 2025? Will anyone spell his name correctly? Will Air Force One abandon Andrews AFB to fly President Trump into and out of Donald J. Trump International Airport?

Most important will Trump, Incorporated somehow get a chunk of money for naming rights to the airport? Stay tuned.

By Ed Dufton