Sneaky Foreigners

USA! USA! We’re Number 1! We may not be Numero Uno in the upcoming Olympic badminton or in the hammer throw, but we can claim the top spot among First World nations in maternal death. The US of A suffered 22 maternal deaths per 100,000 live births in 2022. No one else came close. Ten First World nations had a maternal death rate of less than 10 per 100,000 live births. Norway came in at zero. When those first labor pains kick in, head to Oslo.

Here’s a surprise. Being Black and giving birth in America is more hazardous than doing so in Nigeria. Black maternal death rate here is a staggering 49.5.

The study noted that two of three maternal deaths occur within 42 days of birth. Those sneaky foreigners cheat by providing postpartum care, paid parental leave, and universal health care. That’s socialism! Americans believe in capitalism even if it kills new mothers.

Those sneaky foreigners also pad their live birth statistics with paid services by midwives and doulas. The American Medical Association shudders at the prospect of anyone other than an OB-GYN assisting at birth. Their “campaign contributions” ensure that government and private insurance only cover them, not midwives or doulas.

Thanks to the Dobbs decision, obstetric care within a three hour drive is not available to 7 million Americans. That’s a lot of babies who will never know their mothers if their labor is complicated. “Fetal Personhood” is a rallying cry for the Pro-Life crowd. What happens after those fetal persons are born?

When wholesome, red-blooded American athletes fell short against foreigners in past Olympics, we always had an excuse. Those sneaky East German women were so packed with steroids that they peed standing up. Those sneaky Kenyan distance runners had no cars or even bicycles. They had to run everywhere from birth. Regarding, maternal death rate, those sneaky foreigners have midwives, doulas, postpartum care, paid parental leave, and universal health care. That’s cheating!

By Ed Dufton