Self-Deportation

On May 5, the Department of Homeland Security announced that immigrants who volunteer to “self deport” back to their native land will receive a cool $1,000 bonus. The program is specifically targeted at Haitians (500K) and Ukrainians (200K) currently residing here under Temporary Protected Status. That $1 K will scarcely cover airfare back to Haiti or Ukraine. More to the point, gang violence is killing people in Port au Prince and the Russians are bombing Kiev. That’s the reason why these poor folks uprooted themselves and came to America in the first place.

If Haitians and Ukrainians don’t “self deport”, the program also extends to the less numerous Afghans, Palestinians, Libyans, Sudanese, and Yemenis who made it to the US before Donnie pulled up the welcome mat. Afghans who worked with US forces there will certainly receive a warm welcome returning to Kabul. Palestinians will return to Israeli bombing and starvation. Libya, Sudan, and Yemen are all undergoing bloody revolutions now.

One month into the Self Deportation program, almost no one has taken advantage of that generous $1 K bonus. Those “murderers, rapists and some, I suppose are good people” are smarter than Donnie gave them credit for.

Donnie may not understand human nature, but he is a wizard at juggling money. How was Homeland Security going to fund those $1 K bonuses? If all the Haitians and Ukrainians self-deported, it would cost $700 million. Donnie simply cancelled $250 million in USAID and handed it to Homeland Security for self deportation. Why should USAID be funding immunizations in Africa when RFK, Jr. is limiting them in America? Palestinians will appreciate “Made in the USA” bombs dropped on their heads more than USAID food in their stomachs.

That $1,000 self deportation bonus seems laughably small to Americans under age 60. Donnie and I and other American septuagenarians still think that $1,000 is a lot of money. We remember the $1.25 minimum wage, 30 cent per gallon gas, 15 cent McDonald’s burgers and 15 cent draft beers. Maybe early 1960s America lives on in Haiti and Ukraine. Maybe that $1,000 is a lot of money there.

More likely, “self deportation” will be as successful as Trump’s Atlantic City casinos, Trump Airline, and Trump University.

By Ed Dufton