Scrapple Mania

With Musik (with a k) fest in its rear view mirror, the Lehigh Valley eagerly anticipates scratching its polka and funnel cake itch at The Great Allentown Fair. The Fest has eclipsed the Fair recently. The Bethlehem event runs over ten days instead of five for Allentown. Also, Fest has expanded to Bethlehem’s south side. The Fair is limited to the Allentown Fairgrounds.

Fair organizers decided to “up the ante” this year. The First Great Allentown Fair Scrapple Eating Contest will happen on August 31. Contestants will have two minutes to eat as much scrapple as possible. Let’s see Musik (with a k) fest match that excitement.

The most famous eating contest, of course, is the July 4 Hot Dog Extravaganza at Nathan’s Coney Island. Those tough New Yorkers get ten minutes of gluttony. This year “Deep Dish” Bertoletti won the contest consuming 58 dogs and buns. “Deep Dish” fell short of Joey “Jaws” Chestnut’s 2023 record 62. That’s more than one hot dog and bun every ten seconds for ten minutes.

A wacky nutritionist once claimed that every hot dog you eat takes a half hour from your life span due to ingesting chemical preservatives and coloring agents. “Deep Dish” and “Jaws” lopped more than a day from their lives during their ten minutes of glory at Coney Island.

“Deep Dish” and “Jaws” would scoff at the mere two minute time limit in Allentown. To which Fair organizers would reply, “Our eaters are NOT consuming common hot dogs here. Our guys are pounding down all the parts of a pig that normal humans cannot stomach. Scrapple has those pig organs, skin, feet, head, and plenty of fat bound up with cornmeal and spices. It has no artificial chemicals just natural cholesterol. In fact, each pound of scrapple consumed probably adds a half hour to your life. So there.”

Bethlehem can have its Musik (with a k) fest celebrating that town’s musical heritage — Bach Choir, etc. Allentown’s fair will celebrate the Queen City’s heritage of unhealthy foods — scrapple.

By Ed Dufton