Save the Celery

The best Super Bowl “hooks” have nothing to do with the game. What will those zany Budweiser Clydesdales do this year? Can anyone decipher what the Apple commercial is about? Will an action movie star survive a harrowing car chase, a parachute-less sky fall, and a wall of flame to get at a bowl of Doritos? Who are those hundreds of people semi-dancing on the field during the half-time show and how can I become one of them?

The unique “hook” this year is whether Taylor Swift can make it from her Tokyo concert to Las Vegas in time to cheer on her main squeeze Travis Kelce in The Big Game. Rumor has it that NORAD will track her plane across the Pacific much like it tracks Santa’s sleigh from the North Pole every Christmas Eve.

The coolest Super Bowl “hook” is found on savethecelery.com. (As Dave Barry would write, I’m not making this up). “Celery neglect stops with you and Jif peanut butter. Every year during the Big Game (Can’t say Super Bowl, it’s a trademark), America eats over one billion chicken wings — leaving millions of celery stalks heartlessly neglected, thrown away, and left to languish.”

“But, rest assured, you can make a difference. You can Save The Celery. (If Donnie were tweeting this it would be ALL CAPS with several !!!)

“All you have to do is claim a free jar of Jif peanut butter on 2/11 at 4:30 PM EDT and eat it with your celery that would otherwise go to waste.”

“With every serving of wings comes a side of celery that only 14% of people prefer. Make a difference with Jif peanut butter.”

Apparently, Save the Celery is real. Fans who visit www.savethecelery.com on the big day will get a free jar of Jif delivered to their home by Gopuff, “an instant commerce leader”. By visiting that website, customers “can learn more about the harsh reality facing celery and do their part to be the hero that this helpless vegetable desperately deserves.”

Of course, there is a “catch”. The fine print reads, “Available wherever Gopuff delivers while supplies last. Subject to availability. Fees may apply.” If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

Still, the copywriter who came up with Save The Celery is a Don Draper for 2024.

By Ed Dufton