Rich, White, Blonde, and Privileged

I missed my chance to lose 30 pounds, study the Bible, and “cleanse” my body of junk food and alcohol. All I had to do was take a private jet to D.C, storm the Capitol, and brag about it on social media. A 90 day prison stint enters into the equation as well.

Jenna Ryan, a Texas real estate agent, joined her pals on that private jet to D.C. last Jan 6. After attending Donnie’s speech, they retired to their hotel to drink some wine. Coverage of the Capitol riot interrupted their lounging. “We’ve got to be a part of that!” Off they went to join in the fun. What can possibly go wrong? As Jenna later tweeted, “I won’t go to prison. I have white skin and blonde hair.” It’s great to be rich, white, blonde, and privileged in modern America.

Even rich, white, blonde and privileged people should know better than to post video evidence of wrongdoing on social media. Jenna posted a video on Facebook saying: “We’re going to go down and storm the Capitol. They’re down there right now and that’s why we came and so that’s what we are going to do. So wish me luck.”

She then live-streamed on Facebook and posted images on Twitter of the scene inside the Capitol. That afternoon she tweeted, “We just stormed the [Capitol]. It was one of the best days of my life.”

People died, Jenna. Apparently, that’s OK by you though.

Even rich, blonde, white people can’t evade the long arm of the law, Jenna was arrested, tried, and sentenced to 90 days in prison. She tried to obtain a pardon from Donnie before he left office, but “Law & Order” Trump didn’t get around to it.

Ever the optimist, Jenna tweeted, “I have to report to prison, and the only thing that I can see that’s good about having to go to prison is that I’m going to be able to work out a lot and do a lot of yoga and detox. I plan to lose 30 pounds.” Jenna said that she planned to avoid the food while behind bars because it “is awful,” though she hopes the facility will have protein bars and shakes. Yup, that’s pretty much the way prison was presented in “Orange Is The New Black.”

She added that she plans to read a lot of books, including the Bible, and hopes to “become a better person” who is “more faithful to God.” Ryan asked her followers to pray for her and to “think good thoughts of me because I’m thinking good thoughts of you.” Aw-w-w.

Rich, white, blonde, and privileged doesn’t keep you out of prison especially when “stupid” is added.