Not Really Stealing

Is it really stealing if you take that pen, notepad, or tiny bottle of shampoo home with you after a stay at the Holiday Inn? They expect you to take it.

Is it really a crime if you take boxes of top secret documents home with you after a four year stay at the White House? Apparently, they don’t expect you to take it. But, if theJustice Department complains, you can simply wave your magic presidential wand, thereby de-classifying everything, and it is all good.

Paraphrasing a classic quip, “Every tragedy contains the seed of comedy”. The comedy within The Great Mar-a-Lago Raid of 2022 is in its non-National Security aspects.

Donnie departed the White House with that infamous, magic-markered weather map that showed a hurricane bearing down on Alabama simply because he said it was. Wise choice, Donnie. You wouldn’t want some PhD candidate finding that in a dusty file in the National Archives 100 years from now. “Climate change was really bad in 2018. Alabama was washed away!”

He also took a scale model of Air Force One re-painted in a color scheme that he chose. Donnie spent hours at his work bench painting that instead of running the country. He deserves to keep it.

When you have something to hold over someone else’s head, you hang on to it. Donnie took the first drafts of Roger Stone’s pardon papers with him to Florida. “You don’t want to write that tell-all book about me, Roger. I’ll reveal the dirty tricks you actually did for me back in 2016.”

The classic quip continues, “Comedy evolves into farce”. A Trump apologist commented, “If the women of America could see the mess that the FBI left behind in Melania’s closet, they would rise up in anger!”

Does that imply that the FBI did not re-fold Melania’s undies in accordance with the Marie Kondo technique and failed to arrange them by color in the drawer? Those brutes! I’m not even a “Woman of America” and I’m upset.

That Donnie, always good for a laugh.

By Ed Dufton