Headlines You Never Expect to See

Lynette Dufton
2 min readJun 10, 2024

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There are certain headlines you never expect to see. “Joe Biden Wins Olympic Broad Jump”, “Trump Apologizes For Jan 6”, “Marjorie Taylor Greene, Alexandria Ocasio Cortez Exchange Friendship Bracelets”, and “Alabama Legislature Adopts Suggestion From Black Man”.

The last of these actually came true earlier this year. Clarence Thomas’ concurring opinion on the Dobbs decision that sent abortion back to the individual states suggested that the states might also want to look at banning birth control of any sort. According to Clancy, a fertilized egg is a person. Anything that limits fetal personhood is murder. Alabama hopped all over that suggestion and forbade IVF facilities from disposing of excess frozen embryos. After IVF facilities threatened to move out of Alabama and prospective mothers raised hell, the legislature backtracked and allowed IVF to continue. “Never should have listened to that Black guy.”

Not to be outdone, Oklahoma passed laws against IUDs, mifepristone, and Plan B that are currently hung up in the courts. Election years tend to bring about “a race to the bottom” regarding which state legislature can best suck up to the evangelical Fetal Personhood Base.

Last week, US Senate Democrats introduced a bill to put their Republican colleagues on record regarding reproductive rights. The bill was straightforward. It would have prevented states from passing laws that limit access to contraception, including hormonal birth control and intrauterine devices. Nine Republicans courageously ducked the vote. “There are women in my state who may not vote the way their husbands force them to. I’d better call in sick on this one.”

All other (male) Republicans voted against it. “This doesn’t sound like something that Trump would like. If he wins in November, I need to be on his good side.”

Two female Republicans and all Democrats except one voted for it. Bob Menendez of New Jersey was busy counting his gold bars and waxing his luxury car fleet so he got an excuse from his doctor and stayed home.

The Reproductive Rights Bill could have led to another headline you never expect to see. “Senators Vote Their Conscience And Do The Right Thing”.

By Ed Dufton

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Lynette Dufton

These posts are written by my father, Ed Dufton, who has an incredible knack of condensing the day’s news into a witty and insightful commentary on society.