Halloween Scares

There have been some great Halloween Scares in the past.

“Parents! Check your child’s Trick or Treat Basket for razor blades embedded in apples!” Back in the day, adults would give apples, dimes, or even toothbrushes to trick or treaters instead of “fun size” candy. In fact, there was no “fun size” candy back in the 1950s. If you got a candy bar, it was massive. The “candy people’s” houses never got t.p.ed. The “toothbrush people’s” houses often did. By the way, there has never been a verified instance of a razor blade in a kid’s apple, but everyone knew the story.

“Parents! Check your child’s Trick or Treat Basket for Ex-Lax disguised as mini Hershey Bars!” In the ’60s, the popular laxative changed from a nasty-tasting pill to what appeared for all the world to be a Hershey Bar segment. A classic prank among Middle Schoolers was to switch Ex-Lax for the Hershey Bar dessert in a victim’s lunch. Hershey Bar sales plummeted until kids wised up. There may have been a few Halloween-related Ex-Lax incidents, but they were not wide spread.

As Halloween 2022 approaches, Fox News (and surprisingly the FDA) warn, “Parents! Check your child’s Trick or Treat basket for Fentanyl disguised as Sweet Tarts!” The FDA provided a video of multi-colored pastel pills that really did resemble Sweet Tarts. Fox News provided the fear-mongerring. “The Drug Cartels are trying to hook your kids on Fentanyl disguising it as candy!”

There’s a reason why John Oliver and “Last Week Tonight” won all those Emmys. In Sunday’s episode, John pointed out that pre-pubescent children are hardly the target demographic for the Drug Cartels. Grade schooler’s allowances cannot cover a drug habit. There will be a lot of second graders with busted knee caps because “El Chapo wants his money and wants it now.”

Also, pastel-colored pills are the pharmacological standard. Each of the seven (!) pills I take daily is a different (pastel) color and shape. We elderly are easily confused. “Did I take my xxx today? Sure, now I remember taking the oval pinkish one.”

Or was that a Sweet Tart???

Razor blades, Ex-Lax, and now Fentanyl. There’s a lot of worry about this Halloween.

By Ed Dufton