Guest Editorial
After particularly egregious mass shootings, The Onion repeats an article titled, ““Nothing We Can do About It”, Claims The Only Place Where It Happens.”
Rep. Jamie Raskin (or Jamiera Skin as he is sometimes known) did The Onion one better with a crackerjack guest editorial in the Washington Post yesterday titled “A Handy Manual For Republicans Commenting On Mass Shootings”. These were actual quotes from Republicans after past mass shootings that can be repeated for future ones. Why re-invent the wheel when our precious second amendment rights are in the balance?
To explain away school shootings, Rep. Jamie advised Republicans, “If the mass shooter uses an AR-15 to kill children in a public school, you say, “We had AR-15s in the 1960s, but we didn’t have these mass school shootings. We actually had prayer in school in those days.” That was an actual quote by Rep. Billy Long.
But if children are massacred in a Christian school where they have just prayed (or worshipers are killed in a church, mosque or synagogue), you say, “We’re not going to fix it. Criminals are going to be criminals.” According to Rep. Billy, prayer only stops bullets in public schools, not in places where people pray all the time.
Rep. Jamie’s guest editorial included a classic politician’s diversion. Rep. Steve Scalise blamed mass shootings on abortion. “Something has happened in our society and I go back to abortion. When we decided it was OK to murder kids in their mother’s wombs, life has no value to these people.” If Rep. Steve is correct, there will be no mass shootings in states where abortion is essentially banned nowadays, like Texas and Florida.
Wait a minute. Aren’t Uvalde and El Paso in Texas? Wasn’t the Pulse Nightclub in Orlando, FL?
Rep. Jamie then quoted these facts that Republicans will never acknowledge:
America has more firearms than people. Everybody gets a gun! Yay!
America’s gun homicide rate is 26 times that of other First World countries
Gun violence is the #1 cause of death for American kids under 18
Clearly, the most effective solution to this problem is to require school prayer and to criminalize abortion.
By Ed Dufton
