Greatest Hits

Lynette Dufton
2 min readJul 29, 2024

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Donnie’s Greatest Hits have always come fast and furious. So fast and furious that the “fake news” media ignores them any more. “Grab them by the crotch”, “Shoot someone at noon on 5th Avenue and get away with it”, “I don’t believe the CIA. I believe what Putin told me”, “COVID is no worse than the common flu and will be done by Easter” would end the political career of anyone else. In his case, it is “Trump being Trump”.

Donnie was in great form, banging them out last week.

“Crooked Joe Biden’s Oval Office speech was barely understandable, and sooo bad!” (At least it didn’t last more than 90 minutes and put us to sleep)

“Lyin’ Kamala Harris has absolutely terrible pole numbers against a fine and brilliant young man named DONALD J. TRUMP!” (North Pole or South Pole, Donnie? 78 is not exactly young, by the way.)

“Biden never had Covid”. (And you never had debilitating heel spurs.)

“It was my “GREAT HONOR” to take a bullet for Democracy.” (60,000 of your peers who died in Vietnam because they didn’t have a Daddy to whom a crooked doctor owed a favor deserve some HONOR, too.)

“After what she’s done on the border, Kamala shouldn’t even be allowed to run for president. She’s committing crimes!” (Said the man convicted of thirty eight felonies.)

“You think Biden can do that?” he asked after landing his ball on the green during a video he posted while taking a break from the campaign. (Campaigns are no way to choose a president. Eighteen holes of golf shows what it takes to become Leader of the Free World.)

JD Vance is racking up the Hits as well. Last week, JD told a crowd, “President Trump probably does have an IQ of 210, but don’t tell him that.” (We don’t want the textbook narcissist to get a big head.). JD also attested that “President Trump is a good husband.” (Banging a porn star just after your wife gives birth is real “Father Knows Best” material.)

It was a great week. Only thirteen more until the Election. Surely, Donnie and JD will give us more Hits to remember.

By Ed Dufton

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Lynette Dufton

These posts are written by my father, Ed Dufton, who has an incredible knack of condensing the day’s news into a witty and insightful commentary on society.