Gravy on French Fries

I always admired Canada’s governmental philosophy. They did not follow us into Vietnam or Iraq. They do not blackmail their neighbors with threats of tariffs. They do not sweep workplaces, schools, and churches seeking brown people tagged as “murders, rapists, and some, I suppose, are good people.” Mostly, they don’t want to become the 51st state.

Chrystia Freeland may become their next Prime Minister. In typically polite Canadian fashion, she responded to Donnie’s 51st State threat with “Canadians are proud and independent. We’re going top keep it that way. We admire many things about (or “aboot”) you — your spirit of enterprise, your love of freedom, your embrace of change. We share those qualities — along with a universal single payer health care system, $10 a day child care, gun control, and abortion rights.”

Of course, it’s awfully cold up there in winter and Canadians put gravy on french fries, but I could put up with that if I knew that a serious illness would not bankrupt me, that child care would not eat up a large portion of my take-home pay, that there weren’t more guns than people in my country, and that a woman’s health was determined between her and her doctor.

Chrystia then addressed Donnie and his lackeys directly. “”Why are you threatening us? The answer is as simple as it is sad. You’ve chosen to humiliate your friends before moving on to tackle your true adversaries. Loyalty only works if it is reciprocal. There is a much better way to treat us than threats.”

“Give us Greenland, Denmark or we will start calling those delicious breakfast pastries “Americanishes” and, of course, we will tariff you to death.”

If Canada with a population of 40 million can develop leaders like Trudeau and Freeland, why is the best that we with a population of 340 million come up with is Trump, Hegseth, and RFK, Jr.? Maybe we should start putting gravy on our French fries.

By Ed Dufton