Double Big Mac

I fell in love with McDonald’s Big Mac in Jackson, Mississippi way back in 1972. I was running a test program using an oxy-fuel burner (with Air Products creme de la creme oxygen, of course) to better make tiny glass beads that would be mixed to make highway paint. They are the reason why lane markers reflect headlight beams in the dark.

Before my 12 hour shift alongside the glass furnace, I would stop at the McDonald’s right outside the plant gate for sustenance. There’s a reason why Mississippi has the highest incidence of obesity and diabetes. Magnolia State Big Macs have twice the “secret sauce” found in the unfortunate forty-nine. The “secret sauce” would literally gush out of the burger when you bit into it.

By the way, that Big Mac cost all of 65 cents. Of course, I was earning $1,000 per month back in 1972, so it all evens out.

It took more than fifty years, but McDonald’s has answered my prayers. Yesterday, it introduced the Double Big Mac, containing four (count ’em four) beef patties and more lettuce, but one lonely cheese slice and the same amount of pickles and onions.

Here’s the kicker. The Double Big Mac has the same paltry, non-Mississippi amount of “secret sauce” as the classic Big Mac. If that Burger Clown expects me to pay upwards of $9.00 and not deposit enough “secret sauce” on my napkin to dip my french fries, Ronald is badly mistaken.

The Double Big Mac weighs in at 767 calories. That is roughly equivalent to five cans of beer. Beer is a cheaper and more fun way to pack in those calories except in Mississippi where I’m sure each Double Big Mac swims in “secret sauce”.

By Ed Dufton