Donnie Played Monopoly

My most relevant experience with high finance was playing Monopoly. Once I possessed a “critical mass” of properties, houses, and hotels, no matter how poorly the dice fell, no matter how stupidly I played the game, I would get richer and richer despite it all.

Donnie played the game stupidly by insulting the court and showing no remorse during his fraud and rape trials over the past few weeks. The dice fell poorly for him. He must cough up $354 million and $83 million. He can’t appeal these “witch hunts” and “politically weaponized prosecutions” until he posts a bond for those amounts. Typically, bond costs run about 10% of the bond value, so Donnie must rummage through his sofa cushions to find about $43 million.

Now that amount would be a problem for most of us, but Donnie reportedly has about $600 million in liquid assets. Barron’s college fund and Melania’s wardrobe allowance are probably safe.

In fact, Donnie’s wealth just continued to grow after he left office. He earned close to $1 billion (!) in speaking fees and merchandise sales since over the past three years. That’s a lot of MAGA hats, Trump trading cards, and, as of this week, commemorative sneakers.

Donnie may come away with as much as $4 billion if the proposed sale of his Truth Social goes through. That’s like having a hotel on Boardwalk and just waiting for the other guy to land on it.

It’s Donnie’s world (or Monopoly board) and the rest of us are just living in it.

By Ed Dufton