Cleaning Up

The three most difficult and thankless jobs must be:

Cleaning up airplane restroom messes after lengthy flights

Cleaning up Baby Changing Room messes after a Paw Patrol concert

Cleaning up Donald Trump’s messes after he says something stupid.

During a podcast last week, Donnie said (in his typically eloquent phrasing and marvelous grammar), “What I wanted to do, and what I will do is, you graduate from a college, I think you should get automatically as part of your diploma a green card to be able to stay in this country. I would apply the policy to anyone attending a two- or four-year college.”

Those nasty Democrats leaped at this gaffe like a starving bass. “Would this have applied to those Saudi aviation training “students” who never really cared about how to land a plane, just how to crash one before 9/11? Does Trump realize that there are currently 340,000 foreign passport-holding “college students” in America? That’s more than are approved to immigrate legally under to Joe Biden’s supposedly “open borders””.

Much like Melania cribbed Michele Obama’s convention speech in 2016, Donnie stole the “diploma gets a green card” idea from (of all people) Crooked Hillary. During that 2016 campaign, Hillary said she would “staple” a green card to master’s and doctoral diplomas in science, technology, engineering and math.

Hillary thought that America needed more foreign-born PhD’s in Biomechanical Engineering. Donnie thinks that America needs more foreign-born Associate Arts graduates.

Enter the Trump Clean-Up Crew. Trump campaign spokeswoman Karoline Leavitt clarified Trump’s comments by saying that graduates would be screened for “communists, radical Islamists, Hamas supporters, America haters and convicted criminals” before receiving green cards. President Trump believes, only after such vetting has taken place, we ought to keep the most skilled graduates who can make significant contributions to America. This would only apply to the most thoroughly vetted college graduates who would never undercut American wages or workers.”

“Just one more question before we give you that green card, Mohammed…Do you promise to always earn less than a real American for doing the same work?”

Yup. I feel better about Donnie’s green card program now.

By Ed Dufton