Christmas Luncheon

Air Products Tradition dictates that supervisors treat their group to a Christmas Luncheon during the week before the holiday. My thirty years with the company included lavish meals with booze galore at the Newbern Inn (Bless you, Bill (Diet) Koch). On the opposite end of the spectrum was “Let’s all sit together in the cafeteria and I’ll pick up the tab. Be back in your cubicle by 12:30. (Screw you, Pete (Basketball) Jones)”

The most depressing Christmas Luncheon was at the (then newly-opened) Cracker Barrel. Burlap bags and farm implements hanging on the wall surely arouse that Holiday Spirit. “Oh, what fun! We can play checkers while waiting for our table. That’s better than drinks at the bar except there is no bar.”

From my travels through the South, I was intimately familiar with Cracker Barrel. Behind that “Down Home Country” veneer was homophobia. In 1991, Cracker Barrel sent a memo to its restaurant mangers authorizing them to “fire any employees whose sexual preferences fail to demonstrate normal heterosexual values which have been the foundation of families in our society.” Cracker Barrel could get away with that (and did) at its restaurants in “Real” America but was successfully sued in California.

How about a little racism? In 2004, the US Justice Department provided evidence that Cracker Barrel “segregated customers by race, seated White customers before African-Americans, and provided inferior service to African-American diners” at its restaurants in seven states.” Guess what side of the Mason-Dixon Line those seven states occupied?

Earlier this year, the Dreaded Woke Culture took control at Cracker Barrel. “Discover new meat frontiers. Experience the out-of-this-world flavor of “Impossible Sausage made from plants as part of the Build Your Own Breakfast at Cracker Barrel!”

CB’s loyal customer base gleefully accepted homophobia and racism, but veganism was too much. Comments rushed in to the company website. “I refuse to eat at Cracker Barrel any more. This is not what your restaurant is supposed to be all about.” “If I wanted a salad, I’d order a salad. Stop with this plant-based meat crap.” “I just lost respect for a great Tennessee company.”

This seems like an overreaction since the Barrel still offers three varieties of artery-clogging real pork sausage along with the vegan stuff.

It could be worse, people. Your cheap-o boss could take you to Cracker Barrel for your Christmas Luncheon.

By Ed Dufton