Christmas Romances

It’s December. Naturally, the Cable TV Universe is full of holiday-themed movies. So far this week, “Elf”, “Fred Claus”, and “Home Alone” filled America’s need for Christmas comedies. What about Christmas romances?

The Hallmark Channel provides made-for-TV Christmas romances aplenty. The last two nights saw:

“Christmas With a Crown” — The realistic portrayal of a real Prince visiting an American small town for the holidays and sweeping an average girl off her feet. Happens all the time.

“Sister Swap — A Hometown Holiday” — Oh, the confusion when twins come home for the holidays and confuse the local swains.

“The Christmas Contest” — Romantic hijinks will ensue

“Christmas by Starlight” — Outdoor canoodling, but nothing too explicit. This is Hallmark after all.

Years ago, Hallmark found that Christmas romances received much higher ratings than “The Waltons” re-runs. Hallmark stretched the season for these movies from October through January. They eventually had sufficient inventory to play them in prime time all year long. I know that I enjoy returning sweet-soaked from cutting the grass in August to watch “A Fiance for Christmas” starring Marie Osmond.

The Hallmark Channel still fills most of its air time with “The Waltons”, “Dr Quinn — Medicine Woman”, and other wholesome re-runs. Why not expand Christmas romances 24/7, 365?

Great American Channels (GAC) will launch soon featuring family-friendly, holiday-themed movies and TV series that “celebrate American culture, heritage, and lifestyle. It is time to emphasize the great traditions that celebrate Americana.” In other words, America remains white, heterosexual, Christian, and suburban. An investor group with ties to The Former Guy is an investor in GAC.

The CEO of GAC is former Hallmark Channel leader, Bill Abbott. Abbott is “former” CEO for a reason. In 2019, his Hallmark Channel featured a commercial from a wedding-planning website featuring two brides kissing at a same-sex wedding. That did not fly with the “Christmas by Starlight” crowd. “One Million Moms”, a conservative pressure group protested , “That ad goes against Christian values that are important to Hallmark’s primary audience. You are caving to the LGBTQ Agenda!”

Abbott pulled the ads immediately which led to a greater kerfuffle. “Hallmark is anti-diversity! Gays and people of color buy greeting cards, too.” Abbott was let go by Hallmark as a result.

He surely will not have that “woke” problem at GAC. I can’t wait for variations on “Christmas With a Crown”.

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Lynette Dufton

These posts are written by my father, Ed Dufton, who has an incredible knack of condensing the day’s news into a witty and insightful commentary on society.