Blonde in Waiting
Fox News is noted for babelicious blondes as its public face. Megyn Kelly, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, and Ainsley Earnhardt come to mind. The 2016 and 2020 Trump campaigns had Ivanka and Melania bringing the heat. Don Jr’s main squeeze, Kimberly Guilfoyle just didn’t cut it — too brunette, too Hispanic-looking.
Ivanka and Melania have been no-shows so far in 2024. Fortunately, there was a babelicious blonde waiting in the wings — Eric Trump’s wife Lara. With zero political experience and no legal or any other kind of training, Lara Trump is now co-chair of the Republican National Committee. She was a cheerleader in high school and at North Carolina State University, where she studied communications and aspired to be a sportscaster. She modeled throughout college and briefly thereafter, winning a handful of bikini contests. She moved to New York in 2005 to attend pastry school and briefly operated her own cake-decorating business. She met Eric Trump at a Manhattan bar in March 2008. She was drawn to him not because of his last name — which she claims to not have known — but his height: At 6-foot-5, Eric would still be taller than the 5–11 Lara in heels.
Fortuitously, the Want Ad for RNC Co-Chair read, “WANTED: Bikini-model cheerleader with cake decorating experience to head major American political party. Height is a plus. Anyone named Trump is welcome to send in a resume. (Sorry Barron, that DEI stuff that the Dems are forcing on us rules you out.)
Lara recalls the exact words from her father-in-law that convinced her to take the job as part of her “stump speech” — “Honey, we need you. We need you there. You know, everybody wants this job. If you don’t want it, though, I don’t want to pressure you — but you’re the only one who could do it.”
Good point, Donnie. How many bikini-model cheerleaders are out there who can decorate a cake?
Lara ran unopposed at the RNC’s March, 2024 meeting and won with zero dissenting votes. Beth Bloch, a West Virginia committeewoman who nominated her, warned her fellow RNC members against overvaluing titles and experience. “God does not call the qualified. He qualifies the called. Lara Trump is the embodiment of this truth.”
God calls some to the priesthood. In His spare time, He issues calls to high office in the Republican Party.
Lara has the politician’s gift of slipping embarrassing questions. When a British reporter asked her whether Donnie — who accepts no responsibility for the violence at the Capitol on Jan 6 — was rewriting the day’s history, Lara responded coolly. “In what way?” she said. “In the way that he said, peacefully and patriotically, to make your voices heard? That’s what he told the people of the country. So no, I don’t think so at all.”
Lara must have been busy decorating a cake when Donnie exhorted the Jan 6 mob with “You have to fight like hell or you won’t have a country any more!”
Lara’s cheerleader training no doubt helped her raise the roof during her Convention speech Monday. “Listen, this isn’t just about me. This is about all of us. If we fail to re-elect Donald Trump, they’re not just going to come after me. They’re going to come after every one of us!”
Somehow Lara, I think you will be safe from those marauding hordes of illegal aliens that the Dems will allow into the country.
By Ed Dufton
