Ammo Machines?

For years, Gun Whackos have claimed “Guns don’t kill people. People kill people.” That’s true, but not quite true enough. Guns are a fun and harmless accessory to hang on the wall if unloaded. A Kentucky Long Rifle is less dangerous as wall decor than crossed samurai swords. An obstreperous toddler can do more damage playing ninja and swinging a sword than using a rifle as a club.

Actually, “Ammunition kills people.” How can you conduct a decent mass shooting without plenty of ammo? American entrepreneurship has come to the rescue. American Rounds LLC placed “automated ammo retail machines” in eight supermarkets across Alabama, Oklahoma and Texas. They are launching another this week in Colorado and say many more are on the way. “Honey, would you pick up bread, milk, bananas, and a couple hundred rounds of ammo at the Piggly Wiggly on your way home from work?”

Anti-gun activists need not worry. The Ammo Machines require that you scan your ID to verify age and (hopefully) ensure that it is not fake or expired. The Ammo Machines are very 2024. They use facial recognition software to match your face to your ID as a final check.

What the machines can’t do is determine if you are subject to a restraining order, intoxicated, or suffering a mental breakdown. Figures lie and liars figure, but my guess is that most fatal shootings arise from a domestic dispute, a drunken brawl, or psychiatric problems.

Those anti-gun activists will probably claim this sort of thing in court. Why bother? The current Supreme Court will claim that the Founding Fathers were all in favor of freely-available ammo in 1789.

By Ed Dufton